El Escapista - Vivencias en mundos paralelos y tierras alternativas...

Improper Language Usage

music: Smash my bitch up - Prodigy
mood: InternationalFuckingCorp


Por lo visto, en el extranjero -especialmente en UK- creen que los
españoles tenemos un lenguaje, digamos rudo.

Una multinacional británica no está satisfecha con el lenguaje que utilizan
algunos de sus empleados aquí in Spain. Se han enterado de la frecuencia de
los tacos en las conversaciones de la empresa y esto les ha llevado a
emprender una cruzada de limpieza lingüística. Para ello, Mr. Adamson, que
es el responsable del Área de Comunicación Interna, ha enviado "a la
plantilla española" un decálogo en contra del uso del lenguaje impropio.

Dice así:

FROM: Group Offices London
TO: All Spanish Staff
SUBJECT: Improper Language Usage

It's been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
headquarters that the Spanish staff commonly uses offensive language.
Such behaviour, in addition to violating our group's policy, is highly
unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and the staff itself.

Therefore it is requested to our Spanish staff to adhere immediately to the
following rules:

1. Foreign colleagues or visitors should not be referred to as "ese guiri
de mierda".

2. Words like "coño", "hostia", and other such expressions will not be used
for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion is.

3. You will not say "la ha cagao" when someone makes a mistake, or "la esta
cagando" if you see somebody being reprimanded, or "¡que cagada!" when
major mistake has been made. All direct or derived forms of the verb
"cagar" are inappropriate in our environment.

4. No Project Manager, Section Supervisor or Head of Administration Chief,
will be referred to, under any circumstances, as "el hijo de la gran puta",
or "el muy cabron" or even "el comemierda".

5. Lack of determination will not be referred as to "falta de huevos" or
"mariconería" nor will persons with a lack of initiative be ever referred
to "capullo" or "acojonado"

6. Unusual and/or creative ideas shall not be referred to as "pajas
mentales" in particular when they stem from your manager.

7. You will not say "como me jode" if a person is persistent, or "esta
jodido" or "se lo van a follar" if a colleague is going through a difficult
situation. Furthermore, when matters become complicated the words "que
jodienda" should not be used.

8. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say "vete a tomar
por culo", nor should you ever substitute the most educated "may I help
you?" with "¿que coño quieres ahora?"

9. If things get tough, an acceptable expression such as we are going
through a difficult time should be used rather than "esto esta jodido" or
"nos van a follar a todos". Additionally, if you make a mistake, just say
so and do not say "que putada" or any expressions composed with the root
"puta".

10. No salary increase shall ever be referred to as "subida de mierda".

11. Last, but not least, after reading this note please do not say "me voy
a limpiar el culo con ella" or "me la paso por el forro de los cojones".

Just keep it clean and odorless and dispose of it properly.